Making a Difference

This is the story of what happened when my wife Jackie was confronted with the unpleasant task of holding our son and his friend accountable. I will admit, initially I might have rather handled this task myself, regarding myself as the "stronger disciplinary".

To make a long story short, my son had made some really poor choices. Although the responsibility for these decisions falls squarely on his shoulders, his mother and I agreed we were somewhat ignorant when it came to the character of his friends. These friends, while not ultimately responsible for his actions, certainly contributed to our son's poor choices. We agreed going forward we would know his friends as well as possible. It is now our practice to know their full name, address, telephone number and guardians. I know it sounds pretty simple, but somehow we overlooked it.

Our new resolutions were being tested as an “old friend” of our son dropped by the house for a visit. I know this young man or more accurately, know of him. He has a bad history. I would have probably grilled this kid intensely, possibly to the point of turning him away and done it without pity or compassion; just as happy to see him go. It is likely he would not have left my company with a sense of Christian fellowship; very much contrary to what Jackie had in store for him.

As the young man waited for my son to finish cutting the grass, Jackie made him a grilled cheese sandwich. She took it to him and sat down with him. The idea that she had made him this sandwich touched him and surprised him. She told him she would respect him and treat him like a man, but that she had to ask him some questions. The questioning preceded much like an interview. After a few moments of "what is your full name?" and "who are your parents?", he asked her why she was asking him so many questions. Her response nearly brought him to tears. She explained to him that when he leaves the house with our son, he leaves with one of the most precious gifts God has given us. She went on to tell him how we had mistakenly let him leave with people we knew too little about. She told him how dangerous we now know that to be and that when our son made bad choices it hurt us deeply because we love him so much. He was taken back by her words and told her he had never heard anyone describe their child that way. He spoke with her about poor decisions he had made and even how his parents probably hated him for some of the things he had done. My wife assured him his parents, while certainly angry, stilled loved him. She offered him the redemption of this new day and the days ahead of him, telling him he need only start changing his life a day at a time. Not only did she speak the gospel to him, but more importantly she demonstrated the gospel through the love and compassion of Jesus Christ. Matthew 10:42 says: “And if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones because he is my disciple, I tell you the truth, he will certainly not lose his reward." …perhaps this applies just as well to a grilled cheese sandwich?

I am humbled by my wife’s heart and by the light she radiates through Jesus Christ our Lord. In my arrogance, I wanted to puff my chest out and proclaim myself as the spiritual and disciplinary leader of our family; to lay down the law as it were. However, I have seen the true spirit of evangelism in the way Jackie handled this situation. It has made me realize I have much to learn from this beautiful woman the Lord has blessed me with.

My View on Gov. Sanford...

As you probably already know Gov. Mark Sanford has been the center of the most recent political scandal. He has admitted to having an affair and is a professed Christian. I know many men who have fallen in this way, both Christian and otherwise. I also know that I am not beyond reproach. I often struggle to stay mindful of temptation in my own life. I too, have fallen, maybe not into infidelity as such, but in other ways. Despite his recent actions, I do respect Mr. Sanford for coming out with this the way he has. I believe, while he has sinned, he has approached his sin in a biblical manner, or so it seems. While many politicians have been caught in similar situations, few have even attempted to be upfront until there was no other option available (and sometimes not even then). I keep reading in the press how they are attempting to assess his "angle" or “political strategy”. Many can not understand why has chosen such a politically hazardous course of action. Almost no one considers that the governor’s motives may actually be more selfless than selfish. Perhaps Mr. Sanford may truly be repentant; truly sorry for betraying his wife and his God. As I see it, He at least seems sincerely repentant. As a wife, Mrs. Sanford, for me, has given the world an excellent vision of the Christian world view; holding her husband accountable, while offering forgiveness and a chance at reconciliation. They both seem dedicated to saving their marriage in a time and culture that would suggest they might do otherwise. For this I commend them. I do not know if Gov. Sanford will save his political career or even his marriage and ultimately maybe neither of these is his primary motivation. Perhaps in the end, Mr. Sanford has realized by forsaking his character and his wife he has also forsaken Christ and what is a man to profit by this?